Gifts

Gifting someone is lil complicated and am so bad at selecting gifts especially when am not the bread-winner of my home. That means whatever I get in my hand , I have to keep aside and  save to get something special for my special people . ITs tough though , I still like it , its like I used to do when I was kid ,keeping aside some pocket-money , just to buy something for my lovely mom and dad.

I find joy in gifting even if its difficult to select. I go to a shop, and like in movies , I go for random selection, the more I think its more complicated for selection. I seriously wonder how everyone shop for themselves. 

Today morning I was asked ” What I really need?” 

The question makes me puzzled and It was tough to answer. The question just kept popping in my mind ,and still am unable to answer. Do I crave for dress, jewelleries , books or electronics am so really confused.

Preferably , I might ask for lots of non cooking evenings and basically no household or work 😉 . But that leaves me unsatisfied and a lazy person, which I never want to portray myself as. I want to be vibrant , happy and helpful and loving and caring , for which  i need a supporting family ,  who will always help me , when am lost and when a, disheartened , encourages me to do anything out of my ability and be independent. 

I realise what I want , but of course who says a ‘NO’ to a perfect wedding anniversary gift .  mm Let me go for a list 😉

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Angry anxious and insecure

My topic says it all.
This is what happening with my younger one now.She feels insecure around anyone but everything becomes fine when am around.  She lets everyone feed her or play with her  share her toys but still not to touch her.

Its a stage in many kids and  dealing with it is quite tough. I have seen a differnt kind of insecurity in my  elder  gal in which she used to be calm and quite and just cling to the person and distract herself looking somewhere else and not the person and it was easier to deal with.

My younger one seems to be quite active enough that she screams and let out all sort of cries and run behind me. That sight is totally unbearable. The moment she cries calling out for me i cannot stop myself , feels like someone is ripping my heart into pieces and i run and grab her and hug her , still she keeps crying as if she is complaining.

Motherhood is so strange and powerful ,  we learn many things through experience and everyday is a fresh new start and a new chapter full of vibrant colors thats mixed in a proportion for all to enjoy to the fullest.

fold your hands and pray

At dusk, we light the lamp in our lil temple at our house and we pray . It’s a daily thing for us and I always want to impart such good habits in my kids . I always believe that nothing as powerful and beautiful than believing in GOD. 

I was so happy to see my lil one folding and copying how her elder sister and myself were doing , even though she don’t know what we were doing , but the joy in my heart was just overwhelming. I remember the first time my elder one was kneeling down and bowing to GOD , putting her face down and do not want to get up from there , almost lying there and wants me to take her from there.

Whatever religion we are  following we need to impart good awareness about it in our children , but at the same time they need to know about other religions too , since there is only one GOD , it’s just that we pray  and follow different patterns.

I always found joy in praying anywhere where it is quite and serene and I can find my inner self , that’s what praying is about not giving a big long list of things you need . During my college days , the chapel was somewhere  myself and my bestie found joy, whenever we were happy and overjoyed or wanted some alone time , we go there ,spend some time there, so it’s not about what we are praying or where we are praying , it’s just the peace what we receive while we do it.

Sleeplessness

The moment her big sister is home , even when she is sleepy , she creeps out of her bed moving and standing next to the window gigling around and even rubbing her nose due to sleepyness.

And once she is awake all bright eyed she knows how to bring her sissy to her , she keeps laughing , jumping and screaming which in everyways attracts her sister from her cartoons .

Kids are smart in all these mischieves they do. They  always  know to find a way out.

If my elder one gets bored ,  she starts to play with her baby sister who must have just slept after my sumptous efforts.
I get confused whether to get angry or smile at their playfulness. The joy they find in doing all these is just cute. And that makes me forget all my pains,  my tiredness and I too get along playing with them.

New year resolutions

As usual i haven’t thought of any newyear resolution.
Wondering why we need resolutions, moreover people like me who are not at all keeping up with all these its just  a waste of time.

I used to keep promising myself on almost every fridays that  i will start something new on from the next day ,  but again I think” oh !!! New things its better to start on a monday so may be from monday i willl start on with my new ventures” , but my sillly mind doesn’t know that ‘monday’ will never come.

I take breaks on saturdays n sundays and by monday i become lazier and end up in doing nothing.

Thats the lifespan of my resolutions.

I stopped fooling myself that I will change something and finally accepting myself as such with no specific resolutions like loosing weight, dieting, more reading,etc. Am just ‘me’ as always for people who  love me or hate me.

Every day is a new begininng for me , every single day i find something good or special , rather than my stupid newyear resolutions.

You don’t have to change for someone who loves you as you are ,  because they accept you as just you . All resolutions must be to make ‘you’ a ‘better you’  either its taken on a newyear or any other day.

Best of luck for all those having good determination to continue with their resolutions .