Perseverance : How do I want to teach?

After my last post on winning had a thoughtful conversation with my friend, and am Thankful to her to make me think about it.

How do I want to teach my kids perseverance ?

As I said in my previous post , I feel there should not be any competition , but it is a helpless part ,as everyone wants to win over others and get what ever they want in life. To teach my kid, I would prefer a healthy method, without hurting anybody’s wishes and aims. 

Everyone is born different ,so why compete?

I kept thinking that, we can try to be someone else , but does it really make us them, No . So we keep our own individuality, we all are born different to make the world complete not to compete. Ones we realize the fact , then we don’t fight for things.

I want my kids to try and get what they want, but trying doesn’t mean they are fighting with others to get it. We fight with our selves to be better next time. A healthy competition should be within our selves , to make ourselves better . As a mom , I would prefer , that my kids learn to accept even failures. I would appreciate that my kids know that the world out there has wonderful opportunities, that will suit their interests and talent.

Few things I want to put up for my kids :

1.Include a goal for your life; to help you know what you need.
2. Keep trying to reach the goal .
3. Winning or losing is not important but keep trying.
4. If it is not for you, just leave it, there are better things to do.
5. Never regret of wasting time: since you have tried ,you didn’t waste your time, you are exploring.

As a parent, I feel my responsibility to make them understand, how to channelize their way to live their life to the fullest. Every parent has a unique style ,and every parent does the best for their kids , there is no doubt. Personally, I feel ,if am forcing my child to do something, am just cloning another one , rather than building her own character.

Appreciating that your child has kept trying, is important to make the child feel that we as parents are with them ,and they do not loose their confidence.

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Is winning important?

I am always an average person who thinks that winning is not an important part. From my childhood I was always inquisitive about competitions , I participated in everything and even helped my opponents too. There were quite many instances wherein I used to run to  the stage start up my speech, which I had trouble memorizing and stopped there staring at the huge crowd in front of me, and smiled and ran off. It was just for a moment I used to feel awkward. then again it becomes a matter of fun in ur talks.

I loved participating always, even it was a running race. I was aways physically plump from the beginning , no regrets for that, hence whenever I said I wanted to be a part of running race, people mocked at me. Of course, I might look like a ball rolling around on the track. Still, I took pleasure in doing so. And of course, I won third price ones, even some relay races – which added my confidence level a bit higher.

I believed that I can do whatever I like, and if it was meant for me, I would get it too.

Singing was a far dream for me, especially when it comes to reciting a Malayalam poem ( my native language) . I was like an express in talking as well as singing, so there were no chances of me to win anything in it. The fun part is , I always joined such competitions , and made a laughing stock of myself. Never mind. To my surprise ,even though I didn’t win that competition, there was another instant where our teacher asked me to recite the same poem for a musical drama. That was quite inspiring for me.

In most of my cases in life, I have never left without trying except for driving. Am too bad behind the wheels. Actually, No plans to die and get hurt in an accident, just because of my own fault. 😛

Today ,when my daughter brought in a medal from her playschool . The joy was tremendous on her face. I wish every school recognized every participant in the same way , and not just give the winners everything. Losers are equally important as they at least tried and will trying forever until they win, so they are the true winners.

We must find our way out

Past few month I have stirred up some good conversations with my fellow female friends, who are going through a situation which I had encountered quite before.

We, women, have the problem of self-pitying at times and we need to overcome that to escape from the hell we are living in. Actually, we are the real reason for the hell as well as heaven most of the time. If we let ourselves to be taken for granted we become victims.

There are many educated women around the world ,who are silently letting themselves suffer inside. I personally knew a few who are quite well educated , brought up by parents who want their daughters to be leading their professional life ,but unfortunately , they are stuck up so much in personal life that they don’t have any leads.

Women have variety options to take up as career nowadays. Thanks to the tons of firms who look to helping women work in the comfort of their home breaking all the barriers and rules of a tradiotional Indian wife. With many groups like JobsForHer , Sheroes, WomenRestart and much more coming up in the market to help  job inquisitive women it has become quite easier.

Still, even with all these, there is still around 10 percent of women who are clinging on to the comfort life and then complaining that they are being treated as slaves.It is not others duty , but it should be just our duty , to work harder to get out of the cocoon we sewed together to feel safer in the society and be the butterfly full of colors. Break the notion of being an obedient wife and be a support to your family.

Every woman must be her own ruler, and at the same time never try to rule others too. If you expect to be free, let everyone feel the same way.Always find a way out your obstacles , if you cannot then read , consult , talk or just take a walk out of your world. When I felt I was losing control of my life, I started to blog and analyzed my problems from a different perspective. Am not perfect, but am on my voyage to learn to be good in a way.

In the end, I realized that whatever others do, in the end, what matters is what you do for yourself.

Memories floating in

As I woke up early up in the morning ,with my two lil girls cuddled up near me, I could feel that there is no other joy that can satisfy me in this world, other than being a mom. A blessing for my life turned my life positive and interesting. Until then I was just a girl ,with strong interests, but now, I selflessly fall in love .

The sweet Lil angels sleeping near me has transformed me into someone I may have never ever imagined to be ones. I remember the time as a child when I was more like a grumpy soul, now I can smile for simple things.

Enjoy the naughty things they do and even recollect all the small naughty lil things they did any day. I guess every second in my life is touched and purified by their presence.

As I was sitting next to them in the early hours of the morning before even the sunshine peeps into my room, I could see my kids , the memories of their first arrival in our lives was so fresh and unique.

When my first angel arrived, the mom in me was so tensed,excited, blurred, confused, happy and what not. As she popped out of me , so tiny and cute taking away all my pains of childbirth in a second , as if she came out with a magic wand in her hand and just swished it so that I am lost in a wonderland with her .She copped with my mistakes, my ignorance , my insecurities, my boredom , my lack of experience everything. She taught me how to hold a baby, so tight that none can take her away from me. She taught how to feed her .She taught me how to even play with her. She was my teacher . She made me fall in love. She took me by her little tiny fingers to the world of her own imagination .

she again motivated me to invite another motherhood journey.

With my second one, I was not amateur , but again we had to learn to cooperate, share, be friends, focus, and much more. She came into my life when I was all ready for her. As she came out of me, cutting away from the tag that she carried all along those 9 months of her life inside me I was overwhelmed, overjoyed, excited, tired , but yes she too brought a magic wand of happiness and all my weariness vanished .It was like God has made me double strong to deal with my little girls who were sure to rock my world. She is different from her sister and that made me happier. I never wanted to nurture two similar kids, they must be different , being same is no fun.

As I began with the second journey of being a mom , I hold the hands of my Lil ones who take my hands and walk beside me, making me feel proud of what am now. Whatever I do in work or life, I know overall AM A HAPPY MOM!!!!!

A pinch of advice from an amateur one

Brought up by a strong mom , am very much inclined to the thought that women should be independent. I have always grown up watching my mom struggle with school,kids and home. Every another story of women who work is the same. The struggle keeps continuing even until the end of life. No women change nor men . So the story continues the same way. Either man is reluctant to help their struggling wife due to pride, time or they just don’t want to. When the case comes to managing home and work, it is always the women who are at stake. 

I was not ready to put my  dreams on a stake, hence took up what came up my own way. Even though I was not prepared or even dreamt about it, I took the power to decide that whatever comes my way is the best for me. And of course am happy to do it. 

Ones I discovered my path, the satisfaction level in my life has always doubled. Even a penny I earn is just perfectly enough for me. 

I request all women who are on break or not even started their work, to do something they are always good at. I have seen many women in my village , who even worked part time jobs to earn enough to complete their studies. There are many kids who go to school and take up part-time jobs during vacations to help their parents. 

Even though a majority of us have never gone through such difficulties, we need to learn a lot from them.  Always strive to do what you are good it , even if it is as good as stitching or any other kind of art. Nowadays there is no limit for marketing your work. Social media is the best platform , where even an amateur can flourish. 

Never give up because you are old enough. Age is never a barrier for doing good for yourself. Retirement is just a break away from one work, if you enjoy something else ,then keep doing it. 

For all those women who never got an opportunity to  start working on due to new responsibilities , take up something that will keep you happy, other than household work.