Category Archives: Mommy musings

Being a mom is more about resilience…

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Image Credits: Pixalbay

At times a piece of me always wants to be around you, just to watch you grow. Missing that would be a great loss for me, as all these while I witnessed everything with you, the firsts. It can be termed as something I want to keep it for myself.

I remember the very first touch of your skin in my hands, as I cherish it to be the most memorable one in my life. The moments of redemption that seeps out of me, when you both were born, is exceeding my vision of words. It is a unique feeling, that keeps me motivated all along.

At times when someone asks me, why with all these pain, I endured all along, the difficulties of pregnancy period, that I longed for the next child.

I really don’t know what to answer them, because the joy of watching my kids play together, gives me the answer, which is tough to convey in my words. I see them grow, in every way, like I grew with my sibling.  All these years watching them grow up fades away the pain I endured, bringing me a smile that stays forever until I just have the faintest thought about the pain or stress I had gone through all those months.

Resilience with my self

During the first, pregnancy, it was all the eagerness to know how it will be. As I became a mother for the first time, the joy was profound. It was the beginning of a journey, of a new mom to being a good mom to her, slowly learning through her at every stage. It surprises me, at times, as I am ignorant of what a mother should do in several stages .. Yet I just confidently without taking a step back, walk steadily towards nothing but a goal that is changing every year, as she grows up.

Acceptance 

With my second pregnancy, it was all about, how the upcoming baby would be with my first one. Yes, this is what worried me the most, other than the basic worrisome thoughts about being healthy etc. It is again a roller-coaster ride across the months to balance, emotionally and physically being with both kids.

Understanding the needs of the elder one, compromising on sleep and much more.

Growing up with them is much more fun and learning too. I guess I never learned this much, as much I am learning from being a mother.

Adapting myself 

It is again a greater problem, for me as a person to adapt. At times our inner self is so adamant even to give up to a small child.  It is common, that you might find me still fighting with my kid just like the worst kid at times. It leads me just to think, that AM I actually a mom? Because I am totally weird when I fight with them, even for the silliest things.

Setting an example pressure

OOPS, The big challenge as I say. I am not someone good to be followed – as I am completely indisciplined, and more like a child who is unwilling in many scenarios. I might actually be the big bad example for kids “NOT to FOLLOW”.

It is hard, not to be oneself at times. I can’t act like a perfect mom, and the be a spoiler alert to my kids, instead am the most vulnerable person they might find. One who breaks down, who fails, who is shy, who is incompetent and much more…

so AM I a bad mother?

I really don’t know, what to answer that, but yet I am just a mother who wants to keep her children happier and well-kept.

Even though I break down at many points, wish to quit, or just run away or hide, a part of me, wants to be discovered by those tiny hands who hold me tight, so as I do not fall apart. They make me feel worthwhile, even when the whole world seems to look at me as if I am doing a bad job at being a mom.

For ME, all about being a mom, make me feel enough worthy to be alive.

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To the greatest teacher

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I learn and unlearn 

everything from you

every since I was born

I learned the magic of touch, from you

You taught me numerous things, 

never on a blackboard, that could be erased

but in the depth of things you do 

I am not an incarnation of you

but all I wish is to be a mom like you

Despite hurting you many ways,

call it, my immaturity, my age or whatsoever

you love me more than anyone in the world can.

 

~~~To my mom, who loves me with all my flaws~~~~~

 

 

 

Tips for ideal breastfeeding for new mothers

 

A baby is a new beginning for everyone, especially for a mother.  The first few weeks are the struggle to feed the child right.

Here are few tips for the same :

 

https://www.newswindow.org/news/details/best-ways-to-ease-breastfeeding-for-all-the-first-time-mothers

 

Happy Reading !!!

Break Away

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Every morning the alarms ring, reminding her childhood days, where it was her mom calling her out to wake up.  She wished for those days, to return, where she could slip back into the blanket and sleep more cosy on those early winter mornings.

But, shaken by the world she lives currently, she wakes up and hurries to the busy world, which never stops or let her stop.

But, her thoughts were always busy – she thought what if I stop, for a while?

Will it bother anyone around her or even cause her to fall back?

She never got those answers…

As she hurdled in those thoughtful mornings, where she craved for a warm cup of tea, extended by someone…..but there were none to offer her one.. as the real world is never magical.

She went ahead preparing her cup of tea… as her tummy awaited for those warm drippings to touch the bowel system. She hurried, to silence the nature calls and the cravings for a sip of tea, which always brought in thousands of memories of every stage in her life.

For once, like every other girl, she wanted to grow soon to be independent….

but she thought – Is she really independent – other than cooking her own food?

her choices are adulterated 

her dreams are adulterated

her future is adulterated 

her speech is adulterated

there is nothing, where she was alone. Everything she did was adulterated with others choices, dreams, life and even words. What was she doing, for her own self?

Even when these thoughts mumbled in her brain, her hands never stopped , her chores.. She ran errands, doing everything everyone wanted.

her day, went on … until the moment she gets on her own time…but when is it?

Everyone assumed she could take a break and relax when all went on for their own duties… but really does she take a break- the shaken world never lets her relax. She works on other things required for all.

She went on and on and on…. until she decided SHE NEED A BREAK.

Yes, A Break from life – it will be her deathbed.

 

 

 

Learning from my child …or unlearning few things

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The usual lazy afternoons where I spend working as well watching my lil one play around is the common scenario, one might get to see as they come home.

My lil one, who is awaiting her sister to return from her school, forces me to be her game partner. But yes, All I have to do is just listen to her, focussing her, leaving no gap on attending to her words.

And, yes like an obedient mother,, I sit and listen to her, engrossed in her talks, which are sweeter than honey to me.

She was playing with her dolls, one of which was a joker, another one a boy baby and another one a girl baby. She was making up a story and enacting it to me, like a puppet show.

She said that the girl baby is cooking and the boy baby is sleeping all along. To my surprise, the sleeping feminism in me was shaken. I asked her curiously, why is that the boy baby is not doing anything. To this she gave me a weird smiling, telling me ” mama, the boy baby don’t know anything, he just eats“. It took me totally dumbstruck… what!!! what on earth made her think so… Is it my fault .. oh My !! Am I really bringing up another girl, showing her that none of the men works in the kitchen :P.

Immediately, I said ” No baby, you should ask the boy baby to wake up and help the girl baby in the kitchen. The boy baby doesn’t know anything, so the girl baby can teach him and slowly the boy baby will help the girl baby“.

She listened to every word I said carefully and immediately came to the boy baby, waking up from his deep slumber.

Ah! Finally, I saw that the boy baby and the girl baby are working together in the kitchen…

Seriously I felt a great Relief !!!

No words could explain that feeling.

Raising independent women is never easy, but never impossible. I just wish that everyone be it a boy or girl, work with a sense of responsibility towards their home equally.

We don’t want equality , but understanding and sharing.