An idle dream :)

There it was just me sitting reading a book, watching my favorite movies and kids playing calm and quite. All my house is just clean and clear except for the normal mess made by my Lil darlings , which has become an integral part of our interior nowadays. And as I turn the pages I just doze off .

As I open my eyes, here I was on the bed , and it was just a dream. Two days as my hubby was going to native, I was dreaming to take off from everything and enjoy my break time and be with kids. I thought I could make some simple food and adjust .

It was all just a dream for being idle.

All the day from the time he left ,I was attacked by a maniac in me ( which was hidden and suppressed for years) to clean up everything. I was like a walking talking broom and mop. All day , I was busy cleaning up and decluttering my house. And at the end of the first day, there was a tint of satisfaction rolling over my head. And the second day again , the maniac was woken up , and again up for cleaning all the mess ,which were neglected purposefully due to laziness.

Finally, as I thought that the cleanliness maniac has won over my lazy mind, here there comes the mighty laziness with my husband’s arrival back to power. And my house again getting messier.

Hope things change again.And I would accomplish my dream rather than been a clean monster.

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Will just a career help women ?

I have been associated with some volunteer groups who are working towards providing excellent career opportunities to women who are on break. I appreciate the time and effort they all spend in bringing an opportunity for women whose resume has being dumped because of a gap , which they have taken for specific reasons like – family, kids, travel and much more. Our society has always turned them down , and here a bunch of women who work towards their welfare. Am happy to be a part of JobsForHer.

But.

Few questions still linger in my mind –

Is a career enough for building a strong woman ?

Will that be enough to bring in a perfect life?

It is tough to answer that. A career , be it for a man or woman , they need to work together for their equal success. As women are excellent multi-task she is always expected to manage everything on her own. While for men -finance and work are the only things to be managed. Both gets equally stressed out. At times they forget that life is sharing and caring. And they need to work together than race against each other.

We in Indian tradition and culture have taught girls to sacrifice rather than living their life. Even if they grab a career , it will be just secondary , as they have to struggle through the toughest parts and finally be exhausted. Men, on the other hand, love women who sacrifice and live in a cocoon , that is only when they feel the power of caring. Hence a majority of men and women need to understand the need of co-existence and live a life happier for both not just for one alone. Otherwise, the marriage becomes meaningless.

Getting on a career is not only the important part of life for women- tagging your family along with your journey together is also important. Yes, ofcourse it is not just her task- he should also walk along hand in hand.

The heart attack moments

Having kids is like living in total chaos.

Yea- am relating to it every moment of my life. I wonder why kids end up doing things that seriously give us an attack. Luckily am pretty sure ,there is no mom died due to such heart aches.

Sometimes my younger one ends up doing things totally weird that even at some moments I wonder whether to smile or just get angry. I hide my smile while I look at her angrily, assuming that she is not going to repeat it again. Unfortunately, it’s just a wish ,that never came true.

Even as simple as sitting on a chair , she climbs it and sits in an odd way, that every microsecond, my heart will be pounding as if it will just pop out. Until she relaxes and sits on the chair, My heart will be giving a hard time to me.

As she runs across to hug her sister back from school, leaving my hands, at times I just shut my eyes, unable to tolerate what the scene would be. I hate to see her hurt .She turns half her face towards me and runs towards the front, not even noticing what actually lies in her front ,even if it is a big pillar.

It is all hit and miss life for her. And for me, a life full of minute heart attacks and panic attacks.She is creating sweetest memories though through these minor attacks. 

I wonder when she is going to walk and run steadily at times. 😛

Alive …..with music

Of late, I have forgotten many things I just loved doing. It’s almost time I started doing the same again , and fall in love with myself again and again.

I loved to dance a lot when no one is watching ,projecting my emotions in my dance was quite easier. I always had the interest of doing everything I loved with a background music. I used to feel the ignition within myself, whenever the music is played.

Dance is a passion which I always pursued as a child. Music in my ears keeps vibrating my soul , and am much more crazy, much more energetic and much more. I could dance and finish off my work and even relax a lot.

Am not a perfect dancer , but I dance for myself. Reminds me of those days ,when I used to study with my favorite songs in my background. I loved all kinds of songs – language is not a barrier to love any songs.

Another day, when my Lil one was off to school, I wanted to try it along . And I dinged into my playlists of old and my recent favorites . As I danced in the emptiness of the room , everything around me I felt was just dancing along with me, swinging along and holding me together. I felt that my soul was refreshed. I could dance a bit the same way I used to do years back. As I put on the songs, the beats were like hitting my heart and it was pounding as if I was coming alive.

The vibe in the room ,was so lively, even with a hurting foot , I didn’t want to stop doing what I loved to do. As my daughter came home ,we did a few steps together. Yea ! am a Lil shy person to dance at times , but it is just a starting trouble. I always felt that I used to take a step back in most of the thing I loved doing .But if accidentally am in , Am sure I can do it in any ways.

The magic of music and dance is unimaginable. Live Again with the beats.

I need my mom-always and forever

i-love-you-mom-flowers

Yes , am proud to say that am a mommy’s girl. It doesn’t mean that I never fight with her, but I love her the most in my whole world. She is my role model, she is my guide, mentor, teacher, a mother and what not .

Though I am running my family in a different world ,which is almost my nest, but my home and my mom is the world’s safest place for me. My days start with the messages from her, gone are the days when I used to be called up to wake up by my mom. I used to remember those days quite well enough, my school and college days when she was my alarm. Now am the alarm- a mom in the making.

I can never be like her, though I adore her so much. I wish I could be at least a little perfect like her. Even though I pose a stronger side of me to everyone , at times when am alone and feeling pain- I miss her the most.

A mom can never be replaced – the minute I call her, even miles apart, her words are comforting . Even though far away, her voice is like a soft touch on my soul, making me relax- whispering in my ears – relax dear the world is not running away- be calm.

She is the motivational factor who lets me do and conquer things which I never dreamt of ever in my life. She is like my heaven to me, where I can relax and enjoy being a child again. Everything good or bad- I want to share it with her first. There is more fun in being with her- I love the long walk to temples gossiping about everything and anything in the whole world.

Her talks make me calm and pleasant-else am too irritating usually. 🙂

I wonder what would I do- if she is not taking care of me and my family. The pillar of my home and an engineer to my home. I admit I cry at times when I miss her a lot and fuss over the phone when I am not able to reach her. Thanks to technology at least being far away- am able to hear her voice and even see her.

I wish I could be a mom like her, I know I don’t have the pinch of patience,creativity or feeling as much as she has. But of course, worth trying .